


Fuck Better Halves

by FandomRopes



Category: South Park
Genre: Fluff, M/M, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-08 20:04:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomRopes/pseuds/FandomRopes
Summary: I really needed to vent because something has been bothering. Craig is pretty much me.Craig is sick of people calling him Tweek’s better half.





	Fuck Better Halves

Craig DESPISED the words “better half”. Everytime someone would call him Tweek’s “better half” he literally shook with the effort of restraining himself from punching their teeth out. He had gotten so annoyed that he didn't even realize how bad it was building up.

It finally came to a head the day he heard Tweek say the words himself. He bit his lip until the taste of copper flooded his taste buds. He would not yell at Tweek. He would not, he told himself. So he took a deep breath and squeezed Tweek’s hand. 

They went to Clyde’s house to play games. They were all caught up in some Street Fighter when he finally lost his cool.

Of course it was poor Clyde that caught his wrath. “So Tweek, ya taking on you're better half next?” He asked. It was casual. Just a simple question…

“He isn't half a fucking person, Dumbass! He isn't a nonfunctional being without Me! Stop fucking acting like he requires me to be whole!” Craig yelled as he whirled on Clyde. “There are no fucking half people! Tweek is a whole, functional, perfect male human! So for the absolute love of GOD! STOP CALLING ME HIS “BETTER HALF!”

By time he was done he was huffing for air, unconsciously holding his middle fingers up, and glaring fire into Clyde’s soul. All of his friends stared at him with pure surprise.

“Dude,” Token stepped cautiously forward. “You okay?”

“y-y-yeee-yeah. You sound like you had a b-b-bad day.” Jimmy added.

Clyde was already crying unintelligibly into Tweek’s shoulder. Craig calmed himself down and without answering slowly left. He walked out the front door, down the steps, and to the curb where he sat. 

It was less than five minutes before Tweek joined him. “Hey, man.” He said as he sat next to him. 

“Hey, babe.” Craig mumbled. He stared down at his feet.

“So, what was all that about?” Tweek nodded his head back towards the house. 

“Nothing hun.” Craig sighed. 

“Craig. Just tell me dude.”

“I fucking hate how everyone calls me the better half. Like you aren't functional without me. Or like you're less without me. I hate that shit!” He groaned with frustration and flopped back on the concrete sidewalk. “You aren't half a person, you don't NEED me. We can function without each other.” He covered his face with an arm. “We make each other better, and we love each other. You make me happy…” 

There was a sigh and then Tweek took his hand. “I get it Craig. I’m sorry I said it earlier. I didn't know you felt that way…”

“I didn't tell you.”

“So uh… ngh-how do you feel about soulmates?” Tweek asked as he nervously rubbed a thumb over Craig's hand.

“No such thing. Soulmates aren't people who are destined to be together. A soulmate is someone whose weirdness matches or compliments your own.” He kissed the back of Tweek’s hand. “Like you compliment me.”

Tweek smiled softly. “I suppose that is true.”

“Its like… laundry.” Craig shrugged.

“Laundry?!” Tweek looked at Craig with absolute confusion. 

“Yeah. Like an outfit, or a pair of gloves. You can still wear the jeans with another shirt or vise versa. Or you can wear a blue glove with a green glove… But, it's better if you have the match.” Craig looked at Tweek. “You're blue jeans to my blue shirt.” 

“Craig…” Tweek paused. “That is the WEIRDEST metaphor I've ever fucking heard!” He laughed.

“Fine! Uh, I'm the cream and sugar to your coffee.” He sat up and wrapped his arms around Tweek.

Tweek giggled and leaned into the embrace. “I don't use cream and sugar~.” He teased. “Besides eating plain cream would probably suck.” 

Craig nuzzled his nose into Tweek’s cheek. “I'm trying to explain here!”

“Well, communication is your weakness, but I think I get it.” Tweek smiled and turned his head to face Craig. “How's about lips?”

“hmm. I suppose lips work well by themselves but when we join ours, it's magic right?” Craig smirked.

“So we should combine them right now…” Tweek whispered. And Craig pressed their noses together before their lips joined.


End file.
